A messenger from God is it a gift or a curse ? ( 6 )

Hi good readers around the world ... 

My mother always told me that I have a special gift since I was little girl because a grandfather from my father has a supra natural gift such as heal the sick people , help people who want to get promoted in the office , help people who want to get pregnant and have children , help people to get life partner immediately etc . Some  people also said same things as my mother said about me . Of course when I was still young , I really don't know anything about this . But since I had some vision by dreamed before things happen in real and finally it s happen , I start to ask to my self : is it true what people talk about me that I really have a gift ?

Before things happen in real and finally it s happen such as before I got divorced , I had a dream a woman from my ex husband relative gave me letter of divorce . It 's a bit strange for me . I never thought I will got divorced lol . But it's happened . A mother from my ex husband didn't like me since the beginning because of many things ( I like to work rather then stay at home with them , I still had many contacts of my links of works and clients which is she and my sister in law said : don't let Berlian more shine then my brother in career. Etc etc etc ) . They had lawyer and I had lawyer too for my side . What made me couldn't say anything is when I had a dream , my lawyer wear white shirt  , sit on the right side and suddenly my mother in law entered to the court without permission with his mother wear blue clothe it's really happened in reality . All . My lawyer sit on the right side , wear white shirt and suddenly my mother in law entered to the court room with blue clothe . Finally he choosed his family . I think it's much better like that then stay with me . His parents not allow him to work because they are very rich family in my city .

It s continue again with another visions visions visions for my country Indonesia and other country. Started from bomb at JW Marriot Jakarta ( someone put a bomb between flowers at lobby hotel ) , Bomb Bali in 2002 ( I had vision about this on April 2002 and it's happened on Oct 2002 ) , mud Lapindo in East Java ( Sidoarjo ) , etc . 

At the beginning , I don't feel proud to have all this visions . It's scare me and other people around me  think I am a crazy woman , I got cursed from generation to generation and 1000 hurt words to me . By the time , I can understand now that God not choose everybody to be a messenger of Him . I should accept my self . I should get used to be alone . No family around me . No ex husband . No ex boyfriend . No best friend . No friend . Because some people who has a supra natural explained me , not everybody can be around me . For people who has no same energy as me and no have pure heart with me , they will go by them self for many reasons . We came to this world alone we will die alone to enter into the grave , so I will keep continue the journey of my life with this gift from God to get next visions and dream for my self and maybe for Indonesia and other countries

          Namaste . God bless all of  His creations on earth ...

 

God heard and answered my prayers ( 5 )

Hi good readers around the world ... 

Have you ever try to close both of your eyes and walk with your father / mother for go somewhere ? Can you see something what is in front of you , next to you , behind you ? 

I am sure the answer is no.But you trust to your father / mother to will keep walk with you until the end . That your father and mother will protect and keep you save 

Which is meant we only can see clear everything around us when we open both of our eyes and watch carefully around us 

In this story ,

I would like to share a bit my my story about my relation with God and Universal 

Since I am back from Thailand for horrible story until this year 2020 , I even can't make money . I tried to find job . I made professional CV and send to many companies . Either small companies or big companies . Because I really need to find work.But all looks no hope . No way out . I've been at some interviews but no result . Actually I was work at 2 real estate companies but I don't understand my self , I am always sick every time I start work with people which is this is no good for me at all . I even don't understand why I am sick all the time in my half of my life . 

Until one day , 

I couldn't afford to pay my rent again .

I couldn't afford to take care of my self 

( to eat , to buy monthly needs , to go doctor / buy medicine when I am sick etc )

By help from Universal , I got helped from a woman that I met at pet shop when I was hang out there just for have a look for food , toys , bed for my rescue dogs and cats . 

Inside my heart , I feel painful because I couldn't buy standard needs for my first rescue dog since 2019 , but I still have little faith inside me because every time I am hang out there , I always pray in my heart , one day , I will be able to buy all of my rescue needs .

This woman offered me to stayed at one of her room for a while until I get a job and can pay rent for my own place . 

Suddenly I heard a little voice of small kitten inside her bag 

I was surprised and asked her with smile :

Is that a cat voice ? 

She smile back and answered me : 

Yes it is 

We had conversation about this cat , her other cats at her place etc etc etc

Until she offered me this cat to me 

She asked me if I want to adopt this little cat 

I don't need to think 3 days to say yes or no , straight away  I gave her answered I will be happy to do it because it s meant this cat will become my second cat after I lost Ling Ling 

At the end I stayed at her place 

Finally I met her husband too who was work as a driver from someone . His main job is  pick up clients and brought them to have tours in Bali , Indonesia . So far , all is good . Between me and them . 

Their neighbors also looks ok for me . They share food with me in the morning before they went to work and evening after they came back from their work . One week , all still ok for me  until one day the wife went to work and the husband had off day . We talked in front of my room about life . About many things until he asked me private things such as how the feeling when I had sex with Western guy . What they want / fantasy . How big the size etc . He also explained to me , he never got what he wants from his wife for his fantasy . I really feel uncomfortable with this conversation . He also tried to invited me watched TV in his room while his wife not at home . But I tried to cut the conversation with polite and said to him , I need to take a walk . So I stand up and go out . 

I walked in the middle busy road . Think and cried in my heart until when I have to stay with them . Until when I have to be a part with my rescue dog Amore Mio and my cat Mon Amour that I put at kennel for 2 months because I couldn't give them permanent place with clean bed , food , toys and doctor to check their healthy or if they are sick .Dear God and Universe , please return my children to my arms

One day after , electricity in my room is off . I was asked help first to the wife and her husband to buy me credit for my electricity for 1 month , it's just 10$ because both of them are work so I am pretty sure they have 10$ . Almost everyday I asked help to them but they said they don't have money and asked me back to ask help to others . Others ? I even don't have any 1 friend or best friend who still want around me after I have nothing like now . I just quiet and think , they offered me this place in my situation and now they don't want to help me to buy electricity for my room ? Another day , after I came back from outside for walk too , I entered to the bathroom in my room and I am really surprised until I want to vomit because I saw poo poo of human inside my toilet . From that moment , I already realized this is the time for me to go from this place . Because people no respect me at this place . They didn't give me key ( so people can come and go from my room as they want ) , electricity for my room and today I had shit in my toilet .

The next morning after they went work , I left the house with peace . I am really pissed off but I couldn't say anything because my situation .Actually I don't know where should I go but I choosed to go to one house from a Balian ( a Balinese man with supra natural power who is also one of their friend ) .

They welcome to me to stay with them . In this COVID 19 , all situation really no good . The man not work at the moment ( he also still work at school in Denpasar ) and their kids also not study anymore at school . They just do study online everyday that they should report to their teacher everyday 

But in this difficult moment , this man and his family still want to open their hands to share place and food with me to sleep and eat everyday. They had 1 dog that really skinny and I really want to take this dog with me . To give good life one day . With clean place to sleep with . Not with water from rain and dust everywhere . With clean bowl to eat and drink .

I live my life with them everyday in simple way . I also tried to teach English to one of his kid 6 years old who really closed with me . For me he likes my little brother . I shower him . I put clothes , powder , oil on him every time he finished shower . I comb his hairs . We play phone together until we fall asleep 

In this house , this Balian man has a holly room for pray at 00.00 , I entered to this holly room and pray with tears . Because I want to have my own place . Together again with my rescue dog and cat in bad and good situation . I also do fast too everyday . I really asked help from God and universe to hear and answer my prayer . Simple prayer . To send Western man who has fear of God to help me to have my own place and comeback together with my kids .Maybe you will ask me , why I asked God a Western man ? Because with God we can talk anything like we talk to our parents . For me my God is my only father and best friend who never reject me , never get tired to hear my tears + my angers + my sadness + prayers . For more specific , I asked God  to prepare a big house with garden and pool like place that I stayed before in past . A garden for my rescue dogs and cats to run and play with pool next to it so I can read a book , write my book , drink tea / coffee and look to the sky to say how grateful I am to have God , Universe and my rescue animals who accept me , who faith full with me no matter I am 

Almost 2 months , I lived with them until one day I found a guy on Facebook who wrote about God . 

He wrote his phone number on his profile Facebook . I was asked God , should I wrote message to him or not . Need 24 hours to get confirmation from God by His Holly Spirit to say YES  to me . The day after before I wrote him message on his Facebook , I do pray first to God and Holly Spirit to guide me write message to him . Guess what ? He replied me with positive answer and in 3 days he made decision to help me out from this house . Unbelieveable !!! God and Universe heard and answered my prayers.

He came with his team work brought food of packages to this family especially they brought food for their son 6 years old with kind of food that he never eat in his life before . On the same day , he went with me to picked up my rescue dog and cat at shelter . He paid the bills for 2 months . The last , he brought me to the one big villa with two separate room with big pool and garden . He gave me opportunity let me to stay there with him until I can stand up by my own feet get a job , project or deal property . He gave everything with free . Without anything in return . I never met any person like him who gave me everything without ask anything in return . I stayed at big villa , with pool , garden with my kids again in my arms and many staffs like in past when I was still have ex husband .I couldn't say anything .God heard and answered my prayers 

For all of you , 

Never tired to believe miracle and keep trust in God.Put all your hopes , wishes and dreams to God

As long as your prayer is accordance with God's will and plan then He will hear and answer it 

Namaste . God bless all of  His creations on earth ...

How pure our heart to others who really need love in front of God ? ( 4 )

Hi good readers around the world ...

Tell me honest , what is in your mind when you see clean and healthy puppy and  kitten that just born in good house in rich family or family with enough money ? I am sure you would like to hold , pet and kiss them . But what about if you see unhealthy , stinky + old people , dog + cat with almost no furs , paralyzed , blind , deaf , tumor , cancer , skinny , smelly , full of maggots , broken face , wound and 1000 damaged on their bodies.Do you still would like to shake hands , hold  and kiss them ?              Only your self who know the true answer 

It's my big dream since I was little girl to have animals who live with me everyday.      My parents know really well I really want to have a lion in house because my zodiac is a LEO and for me a lion is an elegant animal . Quiet and walk in elegant .                      I remember when I still lived with my parents , I had female cat and I gave her name is Ling Ling  ( hahaha  ) . I don't know why I gave her name just like Chinese name . I also had 5 babies guinea pig that lived in cage . At that time I still don't know how to take care animals in proper with love and heart . Not only to give them food and water . I think my parents not really into animals because I remember my mother told me if I still want to take care animals in their house , my mother will leave . With broken heart , painful and tears inside my heart , I have no choice to put them stay outside . Until one day Ling Ling died in front of my eyes even I tried to brought her to the vet to save her life and all my guinea pigs also died because they got cold inside the cage when rain come . Nobody clean the cage to check the food and water for them .

Until in 2019 ago in another island , after my ex Italian boyfriend left me without news as usual  ... a few days later , I found small black puppy always slept in front of dirty toilet outside at my rent place. I have no heart to ignore her . I took her in my arms , she still couldn't walk and her eyes still couldn't see very well . I bought new towel and tried to bought milk for her . I brought her to my bed to sleep with me every night in quietly . Because if owner of my rent place find out I brought puppy sleep with me on my bed , he will kick me out 100% . I remember one day I heard the voice from him -                the owner of my place spoke to the staff to throw away that puppy . Since I heard that , I tried to save the puppy life with my very big risk , I will get kick out from him which is at that time , I already have no work at all and no have enough money to continue my life after I got fired from my ex French bos ( from real estate company ) because I am very often to get sick . Day by day I survive with  1000 blessings from God and Universal through their guardian angels that They sent to me to fulfill my simple monthly life  ( like food , water etc ) .

I gave her name Amore Mio . It's Italian language because I met her after I lost my ex Italian boyfriend . She fills my days . She always with me day and night . At that time , my place close to the beach .    So every morning and before sunset I always walked with her for go to the beach . Even just sit and continue write my book , listened to the music or play run with her with sand and water . Even I couldn't go to the restaurant anymore with her if I am thirsty or hungry , but for me the important thing is her . I always brought bottle with clean water inside or snack for her because I don't want she feel thirsty or hungry .

Universal and God really show me Their presences , loves and cares in my life with Amore Mio . I remember there is Australian old couples who drove car and always brought big pocket with food and bones inside their car  for every stray animals like dog and cat around the beach or on the street.  Thanks to God , I got opportunity to get couples time to got free food ( dry + wet food ) and toy for my first puppy . Until one day , I should move to another place and never meet again to this Australian old couples 

I kept continue my journey with Amore Mio until I met other rescue animals ( 3 dogs and 2 cats ) . I will keep continue pray to Universal and God to let all doors open for me to get solution in my life . I should help other dogs with paralyzed , no furs , has tumor , cancer and got mutilation that I saw on the street and on Facebook news in my country even most of people laughed , talked behind me and underestimate me for what I am doing now . I don't need to wait to have a lot of treasures to give hands , to help ,            to share love and care to other creation of God like to old people , to orphanage kids ,      to animals who can't speak for them self but we can see if they are in sadness or in happy from their eyes because as long as I am still alive because I don't know when I will die , I will keep continue to do kindness , good darma , good karma to all creation of God because I know my self, I am ready to die anytime to comeback to my creator . How pure our heart to others who really need love in front of God it will answer by our words and actions

Keep continue do kindness , good things , good darma , good karma until the rest of your life because we never know when our time is come . 

Namaste . God bless all of  His creations on earth ...

U always in my mind til I die ( 3 )

 

Happy bday to me ... ( 2 )

Hi good readers around the world ...

What is birthday meant for you ? Big events in expensive hotels or restaurants , stocks of branded gifts, hair do + makeup , jewelry, branded clothes , fancy shoes with handsome and beautiful partner  +  friends important people ?

I am 42 years old now . No family around me . No grandma . No grandpa . No parents . No brother . No aunt . No uncle . No husband. No boyfriend . No job . No deal . No project . No saving money in bank . 

I only have 5 rescue animals - 3 dogs and 2 cats  lives with me everyday

It is really painful a lot inside my heart when on your special day , you have nobody around you to call you , text you , hug you and kiss you to say Happy B'day or encourage words  such as you will be find solution at the end and will become the winner 

I am divorced 2x in my marriage life in past and never have serious  boyfriend who want to be with me and love me just the way I am

All friends that I ever had are just fake people who only stick around me if I can give something 

( brought to resto , salon , movie , shopping etc )  or when I still have ex boyfriend with business or  when I still have good career

Need many years to understand we was born to this world alone and we will die alone

By this little note , if you are alone on your birthday , when you sick , when you have no way out from every problems , just remember always  in your mind we was born to this world alone and we will die alone too

One thing that we must be grateful for is we have God who never leave us no matter what , 

who never tired and never get bored to love and accept us in bad and in good no matter how many times we dissapointing God with leave Him and do 1000 bad things in life and we still have complete part of bodies , still have clean place to sleep  and a shelter from heat and rain 

Once more time 

Happy birthday to me . Stay strong . Try to be happy . Try to be positive . Keep walk . 

Keep continue  your journey .Trust on God 1000% 

Namaste . God bless all of His creations on earth

Stop play as a victim and blame the man for everything ( 1 )

Hi good readers around the world ...

I remember when I was sit inside the taxi  a few years ago , I saw a woman on the street got anger to one white man . She shouted at him , cried , tried to hit the man and they had argued.

I tried to open my window a little because Im courious  and want to know what they argued about.

A woman still dressed like from party / club last night with messy make up and messy hairs : 

" U fuck me and just wanna leave me here ? Fuck you. Do you think I am a prostitute ? "

The white man laughed and answered her : " U are slut . What do you want ? " 

The woman shouts even harder .She couldn't control her self and looks like no have shame anymore in front of a lot of people on the street with a lot of cars and bikes and said to him : " Fuck you . 

You played me . 

You hurt me . You used me . I don't accept this !!! "

Then the white man just left her with his bike , put his middle finger to her and laughed 

I also heard some stories from some of women who always blamed the man . 

" They just wanna fuck and bye . I am not the kind of woman who want to do one night stand . 

I am not fuck around woman etc  "

How many we see on first meeting , some of women dressed very sexy / sensual full make up  and agree go to the man place after from  club / bar / dinner / hangout  to continue watch movie / have a beer / continue have a talk or swim in the middle of the night ( hahaha ) 

Lately , I read news on Facebook about two white women who felt as a victims of sexual harassment by one Brazilian man in Bali .

After I finish reading all  , I have my own opinion . 

In this story I can't blame the man because they met at place who do dance with seductive movements . 

After the show finished , one of the woman had a drink and have a light topic to talk with him  and she agreed to follow the man to his place because she said  she felt hungry of food . 

After arrived at the man place , the man took a shower and went out from the bathroom with towel  . They started to play touch and kiss each others until sex happened between them . 

At the end the this woman felt guilty , sad , angry , depressed etc etc etc because finally she said , she has official boyfriend already . 

In another story , other woman also said finally felt guilty ,  worried to get pregnant because when she had sex with this man , this man didn't wear any condom , felt sad , angry etc etc etc 

Well

We can't blame this man . This is not a rape . They are 2 adults in one room . 

Met at sensual dance place . They talk . They drink . They agreed to go home together to the man place Nobody push each others with knife or gun lol .

I am woman too . I had a lot of stories in my life with bad and good stories  .

I called it s  a lesson of life not a mistake to teach us to not do it again and again on the same path  . 

I lost my marriage 2x . I never had serious ex boyfriend who wanna marry me . Etc etc etc

For all woman , young ladies , young girls around the world  

I just wanna say , respect your self . 

Start from  the way how you look , talk and behave . Have value for your self  . Have boundaries . 

Don't open the door . Don't start to play the fire or get involve with the game of the stranger man / even to the man that you know already  if you don't want to get burn . 

Have quality in your self and you will attract a serious man and quality man who want to come to your life 

We all responsible to our self .To our life.

Just be adult , take the risk , don't complain , cry to people and stop play as a victim 

Keep continue to do kindness , good darma and good karma.Save lost soul , animals and natures lifes .

Namaste . God bless all of  His creations on earth ...